Saturday 6 August 2011

Seriously...

... what do people know?
Of this desolate life.
I thought at least that my parents would sympathize and maybe understand a little of why I feel like running away from everything and going home.
But they don't.
I understand, they have their own lives to live - people to see, my brother to love.
Oh, I am lovable too - as long as I stay "independent" - not whining or complaining - being self-sufficient and reassuring them that they are loved.
I'm being bitter, I know.
But what do people know?
Of this desolate life.
The walls do not speak to me.
If they could, may be things would be better.
But they do not and things are the miserable way they are now.
Having been an emotionally intense child, I learned ways to deal with my hyper-sensitivity.
But it doesn't always work now.
Sometimes, the companionship of friends help.
Other times, the comfort they offer disappears as quickly as it came and I'm left in the unbearable silence.
The silence!!! Oh, how I loathe it!
Do you understand my pain? My insanity.
People should not have to deal with my madness.
The world would be better off if I rid it of me.
But curse my conscience - it holds me back - the grief it would cause on my family, loved one and friends.
So I have to continue to walk this life.
Endure the pain - the silence.
I try but it grows overbearing.
Tell me, please.
How do I turn the silence off?
Please, will someone tell me?
It's so deafening, it's drowning me in my thoughts.
Someone please tell me, how do I turn it off?
I need to turn it off.

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